


idontwannabeyouanymore

by riveatstoes



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28976295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riveatstoes/pseuds/riveatstoes
Summary: going through senior year is never easy. especially when an idiot you pretend not to know starts a chain reaction that kills basically everyone.
Relationships: Aradia Megido/Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas, June Egbert/Dave Strider, Mituna Captor/Latula Pyrope, Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	idontwannabeyouanymore

**Author's Note:**

> this series is covered on my youtube! commentary will be released shortly after every chapter!

==> DS: Begin the freakshow

If you are reading this it either means you’re watching the YouTube video about it, or you’ve stumbled across it on Archive (maybe Wattpad if Miss Author Lady is feeling brave - but probably not.) This is simply your humble warning that this story contains dark themes such as: murder, death, suicide, and general violence, as well as ED, bodily insecurity, plastic surgery, and LOTS OF INCOMPETENCE. Be aware that all (main) characters are between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, so there will be a lot of swearing n’ shit.

That’s all, enjoy the show!

==> DS: Be the Peixes girl

6:45 am - You roll out of bed. It’s August fifth, the first day of senior year, and you’re already done with this bullshit.

“Come on, you’re five minutes late already!” Your sister, Meenah, says from the door, “I ain’t takin’ you today - you miss the bus an’ you stay home!”

“Fine,” you mumble, stumbling to your closet. This was what you liked about summer: there was no obligation to do anything, not even get dressed. But now that school came back into your life like it always did, all of those obligations were back. Especially the one you hated most: being scared of The Game.

The Game. Ugh. How do you even begin to describe The Game?

Well, it hasn’t started yet, but for the past three years there’s always been that fear that it would. It first was threatened during the summer of three years back, when some shadowy figures came. That was the day that would live in infamy in your town - the day twenty-some people were killed.

You considered those who weren’t players lucky. They didn’t have to live in constant paranoia that one day, somehow, some way, they would have to partake in something they didn’t even know the rules of.

Your parents were among those who were killed. It was a sign of what was about to come. Luckily, the other twelve players were smart enough not to provoke The Game. All of you were scared.

==> Feferi: Stop explaining stuff and get on the bus

To put it simply, you HATED taking the bus. It was a public school stinkhole and you hated it. Not that you were too good to take the bus; you didn’t like thinking of yourself as better than anyone. You just...happened to only really hang out with the other richest kid in school - but that was more because he was your boyfriend and nobody else liked him.

Speaking of which... 

CA: hey

CC: )(i! 38D  


CA: you takin the bus today  


CC: Yea)(! W)(y?  


CA: i wwanted to go wwith you if you wwere  


CC: AW--E ---ERIDAN!  


CC: T)(at’s amazing, I’m sorry.  


CA: no its ok  


CA: so i guess ill see you wwhen i get picked up  


CC: Okay! 38)

“Maybe today won’t be so bad,” you mutter as you step onto the bus. But as soon as you see it, you realize you couldn’t have been more wrong.

The first one to see you aside from the driver is Vriska Serket, and she starts laughing, “Look, guys, she’s not too good for us after all!” Other than her, only Gamzee Makara laughs. You groan and sit in a seat a few rows in front of her.

==> Feferi: Be miserable

Oh, you are. You are more miserable than anyone can ever be. Why does everyone insist on screaming? Okay, maybe the ‘more than anyone can ever be’ comment was a little bit exaggerated, but there had to be some truth in it.

There was a time when you and these people were friends, but once The Game became a regular topic of conversation, the group ripped apart at the seams. It started with Kanaya Maryam and Rose Lalonde moving to sit by Rose’s friends, and then continued when Aradia Megido, Tavros Nitram, Sollux Captor and Karkat Vantas left to form their own table. It continued that way until only you and Eridan remained.

That was three years ago, and since then it was never the way it was before. Not that you’d want that - it took the group separating for you to realize that some of the people you used to call friends were assholes.

You look across the aisle and see Karkat giving you a mean look, but you don’t mind. Karkat was basically a mean look in human form.

“Look, a cop car!” Someone - who you much later realized was Terezi Pyrope - shouted. You turned around to see, but were only really met with the view of Terezi and Vriska sticking their middle fingers out the window. Groaning, you spin back around. For just a moment, you wish that the driver would notice and do something about it, and that wish was only squashed when you look up front and realize that he did see this, and chose not to do anything.

After around a solid two minutes of just that, the bus stops again at Eridan’s house. And for the first time today, you feel at peace.

“It’s like the circus,” you say to him the second he sits down, “You can basically do whatever you want. The driver isn’t paying a lick of attention.”

His brows furrow, “Is that a good thing?”

“It is if you like screaming and flipping off cops,” you mumble with a sigh, feeling the secondhand embarrassment from watching Vriska and Terezi come back.

Someone behind you yells something incomprehensible, and out of instinct, you and Eridan cover your ears. Once the screaming stops, you both uncover your ears and laugh amongst yourselves at how stupid some of your peers are.

“Jesus fuck,” he forces out, “They’re so annoying.”

“Yeah,” you reply, “But at least I have you.”

He smiles and rolls his eyes, “Don’t get sappy with me, Fef.”

You tap him on the arm, “I’m serious!”

“Mhm.”

==> Feferi: Be Eridan five hours in the future

“I don’t know what you want from me!” You say, and you really don’t. Just a few hours before, Feferi was cuddling up to you and being all nice n’ sappy, and now she was mad. It seemed like that’s how every day went since your relationship began. It was either you were mad at her or she was mad at you, and it was tiring.

She runs her fingers through her hair, “Oh really? You don’t know what I want? Well damn, Eridan, I could’a figured that out on my own!”

You want to say something, but before you can, she goes on, “It’s like you never know what I want, even after I tell you exactly what I want! I just...feel like, maybe, you don’t understand me at all.”

“Feferi, I do understand you. I understand you more than anyone ever could. I know your favorite color - pink - your favorite food - quote, “chicken tendies” - and I know that when you were in third grade you dated Sollux. I know that you had three pet fish in fifth grade, I know you and Meenah made up a fake language when you were kids. I also know that you’re my girlfriend and you have been since the sixth-fucking-grade, and I’m not tearing that away now.”

She sat there, speechless, for a while, until, “When was the last time you asked me these things? My favorite color is purple, because it reminds me of you. My favorite food is macaroni and cheese. Plus, I told you never to bring up my relationship with Sollux. Oh, and also: we didn’t make up a language. We were speaking fucking Hawaiian. My family is Hawaiian, Eridan! I can’t believe you even began to think you knew me.”

Then, she walked away with her tray, and you were left alone.

“Feferi?” and when no response came, you knew it: this time, it was over.

==> Eridan: Go be upset somewhere else

You weren’t allowed to go home for two more hours, but once the time came to step out of school and finally relax, you knew that that would be impossible to actually do. All you could think about was Feferi, and about how you were so stupid that she actually felt the need to break up with you.

Somehow you got the message to your brother, Cronus, that you wanted to be picked up and that you didn’t want to ride the bus back. You knew that Feferi would be on the bus. You didn’t want to be near her, or make things worse just by existing in her general vicinity.

“So...how was school?” Cronus asked awkwardly.

“Don’t talk to me.”

That’s essentially how the rest of the car ride went - Cronus tried to make weird conversation and you ignored him. You never liked your brother, and you think that’s more because of his morals than anything else. He was born after your parents became super-fucking-rich (though not richer than Feferi’s family, of course) and because your parents had no other duties than to take care of him, he was spoiled.

But by the time you came along, they both went back to doing some kind of job and paid someone to watch you until your brother could. Because of the ways the two of you were raised, he was super entitled and didn’t do anything, while everything you wanted from your parents had to come from begging. At this point, you had more respect for Mary, your nanny, than you did for Cronus. It was just how things came to sort themselves out.

You saw Cronus as an abandoner. When he turned eighteen - a year before The Game came to be - he left your family to travel instead of going to college. He didn’t call. He didn’t text. For an entire year, your family assumed he was dead. That was, until The Game killed your parents and Cronus became your guardian. He didn’t even come home in time for the funeral. You hated him.

The second you arrived home, you exited his car and rushed inside. There, you were met with your dog - a corgi named Lumière. You bought him after your parents’ deaths as a sort of coping mechanism, and have been basically best friends ever since. Aside from Feferi, you were convinced there was no other being on the planet that understood you better than Lumière.

Your options were as follows: go to your room and mope; talk to Cronus and try to mend your relationship; take Lumière on a walk. You settled for the third option because it seemed like the only one that wouldn’t end with you breaking stuff. So, you grabbed his leash, clipped it to his collar, and left. And just when you thought you were safe, there was a ding coming from your pocket.

CC: I’m not going to apologize for )(ow everyt)(ing went earlier.  


CC: I would like you to collect your t)(ings from my )(ouse.

Ooh, that stung.

CA: just throww it out  


CC: Are you sure? It’s a lot of stuff.  


CA: yes im sure  


CC: Okay. Also, I’d like you not to worry about my lunch seating arrangements. You can keep the table. Aradia )(as agreed to let me sit wit)( t)(em.  


CA: i wwasnt wworried

You were, actually.

CA: havve fun wwith them

You put your phone away and continue on your and Lumière’s walk. Maybe this would pass like every other argument. Maybe she was bluffing. And if she was, you could bluff just as well as her. By this time next week, you were sure you would be back with her. Or maybe you wouldn’t. Honestly, at this point, you were doing anything to convince yourself that this wasn’t the end.

“You’re sad, aren’t you?”

You turn around, and there stands a tall man in an irritatingly white suit. You think you’ve seen him before, but after a second of convincing, you know you haven’t.

==> Eridan: Have an existential crisis

“Who even are you?”

“A better question would be more along the lines of ‘what are you,’ but I will excuse your slip-up. Instead, I would like you to guess.”

There was a familiarity in his ways, but that went over your head as this looked super sketchy. This man - or, whatever - appeared to be at least thirty, and he was talking quite creepily to a seventeen-year-old boy. But then again, this would have to be the least off-putting occurence that has happened since The Game threats. Wait. The Game.

“If you are who you think you are, I’d stay a good five feet away from me.”

“You think five feet will do anything? Really, you’re quite an idiot.”

Suddenly, the space around you disappeared to make way for black. Lumière was nowhere to be seen. In time and space’s place stood a table, and you were seated at the foot of it. At the head was him.

“I’ve been watching you and the other players for quite some time, Eridan. And I know more than any of you could know about each other. For example: did you know that Vriska Serket - or, as I like to call her, Player Cerulean - takes pills to control her anger? Or that Sollux Captor - Player Gold - has anxiety issues and goes to therapy on a weekly basis? I bet you didn’t.”

“How is any of this relevant to me?”

“In a Game designed to find every player’s weakness, everything is relevant,” he pauses, “But I want to offer you help.”

“I don’t want it.”

He fiddled with one of his gloves for a moment, and then turned his attention back to you, “If you start The Game for me, I will give you Feferi back. I will give her to you and you will be happy.”

The suggestion makes you do a double-take. Did he seriously think he could basically buy you into starting The Game? You shake your head, “I don’t need her to be happy,” is what you say, but you know that you’re lying.

“It would make this easier if you refrained from lying to me, Mr. Ampora.”

There was something about the way he spoke that sent shivers down your spine. It made you want to give in and accept his offer; made you want to believe that he would actually make good on his promises.

“I’m not gonna do it. I feel I am perfectly capable of getting Feferi back on my own. I don’t need your help.”

“Oh, but you do!” He exclaimed, jumping up from his seat, only to appear by your side a millisecond later, “And if you just take it, I can promise you that you will not regret it. I think that there’s always a silver lining in taking the help of the immortal being who is playing you like a puppet.”

You bite your lip to stop yourself from saying something stupid, but do it anyways against your greater judgement, “If I agree to do this, I also want some sort of protection against The Game.” There’s a small amount of time wherein you kind of regret saying what you did, but it was too late to take anything back at this point.

“Of course. I can promise you that, as long as you do this for me, you will not be taken out within the first two months. That’s the best I can offer.”

He holds out his hand for you to shake, and you consider not doing it, but then again: who really were you to pass this up? You supposed it was inevitable, right? Someone would have to do it, and it wasn’t like you had anything else to lose.

So, you shook his hand.

A giant lever appeared in a cloud of lime green smoke, with the word “Game” printed on the base. He looks at you expectedly, and that’s when you knew there was no going back. So you close your eyes and pull the lever.

“Okay!” He says happily, “The Game will not start officially until Friday, so you have until Friday to prepare. A timer is on the homescreen of your - and every player’s - phone, and when the timer runs out, you will be placed into a groupchat with every other player. Those are...the rules, essentially.”

“And I get Feferi back, right?”

He breathes in suddenly through his teeth, making a ‘sheesh’ sound, “Well, that is quite complicated…” his gaze flickers down to his side, and you notice that one of his hands was behind his back. When he sees you notice, he pulls it out for you to see. And when you see... 

“You can’t go back on this! You promised!” You shout as loud as you can. But alas, when you’re in a void of nothingness, nobody can hear your cries.

He uncrosses his fingers, “Oopsies.” And with a smile and the flick of his glove-covered wrist, you’re at home, in your bed, with Lumière at your side.

You pick up your phone, and right there, clear as day, was: 3d:19h:25m. And this, this was all your fault.

==> Eridan: Be the Makara boy thirty minutes ago

Why is it that certain people insist on torturing the people they used to date? And it wasn’t even something most people would consider serious. It was just the little things, like sitting by the person they’re dating now, making out with them when they know you’re watching, and being a general prick about it. It always seemed like he had nothing better to do than to make you know that he’s with someone else.

And what kind of person was Sollux anyways? Who were they to take Karkat away from you? How was that not a stain on his character?

“Come on, Kid, you gotta sit down,” the driver said, and you did. You sat somewhat near the front, next to some six-year-old girl you didn’t know. The only other options were to sit near them and you really didn’t want to do that.

The girl had a little ‘38’ marked on her hand in orange marker, and you assumed that her teacher had done that so she wouldn’t forget her bus. You remember when your teacher did that for you; you’d asked her specifically not to use black. You’re convinced it would be of no surprise to Mrs. Mannigan that you cover your entire face in white face paint.

“What’s on your face?” the girl asked.

“None of your business.”

“Hey,” she replied, that certain childlike anger lacing her tone, “My mommy says that that’s no way to respond to a question.”

You almost don’t laugh, but then you remember who you are, “Well, Kid, I never had a mommy so I guess that’s why I wouldn’t know.”

“What?” she seemed absolutely bewildered, “Where’s your mommy?”

There’s a moment of ‘maybe I shouldn’t say this to a child’ but you completely ignore that feeling, “...You ever heard of gay people, Kid?”

She shook her head.

“Okay so, basically, I have two dads.”

She stayed silent, and then, “No fair! I only get one! I want two, too!”

You smile, definitely feeling in the mood for some classic family sabotage, “You should ask your mommy for another dad.”

“I will!”

“Make sure to tell me all about it.”

After that, the two of you were mostly silent, except for the two seconds she was telling you her name: Emma. It was a weird moment for you because she'd already reminded you of your little sister, and this just sealed the deal. Your sister’s name was Emilie and she died three years ago.

You didn’t have very many fond memories of Emilie, but she was your sister nonetheless. Your birth parents made the same mistake twice, and the only people who were somehow able to fix those mistakes were Kurloz and G.H. Makara. They were the only parents you knew.

“Bye, Gamzee!” Emma said to you as you stepped off the bus. You waved to her as you left, but you told yourself the only reason you did that was so that she’d have more of a memory of you, and she’d tell you how talking to her parents went.

Your dads were never home when you got home, which is why you never had a ride home. It’s not like the bus was that bad, though. The only thing that made it bad was when Karkat insisted on riding it instead of having Sollux ask Mituna to pick them up.

AG: Hey what were you talking to that kid a8out.  


AG: I wanted to ask you while you were still on 8ut Terezi was talking my ear off.

Sometimes you forgot you gave Vriska your handle, and then when you remember you instantly regret it. You gave it to her right after Karkat broke up with you. You were vulnerable. But still, you answered her anyways.

TC: i DoNt ReMeMbEr AlL oF iT  


AG: Don’t even 8other lying! It sounded funny.  


TC: I oNlY tOlD hEr WhAt GaY pEoPlE WeRe  


AG: Hm. I feel like under any other circumstance that would be funnier.  


AG: Thanks anyways.  


TC: nO pRoBlEm

You turned off your phone, but it turned back on immediately. 

3d:19h:25m, the screen said.

_Huh. Looks like someone finally gave in._

_sHuT uP._

_Nah. Bothering you is more fun. It’s like a little game._

_iVe HaD eNoUgH oF tHe GaMeS._

_Well it seems like The Game isn’t done with you._

_I rEaLlY hOpE yOuRe WrOnG._

_Probably not, though._

_uGh._


End file.
